Newshoots

This

This is the blister left behind by last week's worries.

The one that burned and danced its way down my throat

where it split my voice into tender stutters

that were fresh and raw.

And this is the route my eyes took to find that smile

that crept farther east than it did west

and sent your voice on a trip that began in my ears 

and ended on my skin.

This is the sigh that scraped against my lungs

when I didn't find you waiting

and it dawned on me that maybe you never were,

that maybe I was just good at catching up.

And when you forgot how to talk to me

this is the pact you broke.

And this is the moment when I am glad it means I didn't have to.

Sonnet

Who am I to say what this day will bring?

For certain we know only that the sun

will rise before the moon and we know spring

will greet our frozen thoughts when winter's done.

But which words will stay by you in the night

and dance along the surface of your skin?

I cannot wish for more than to pour light

upon the place from which they came within,

where my chest rose and tried to form a sound

that caught beneath my lips that were a pair

of wounded children desperate to be found

by someone who could teach them not to stare.

And so as I ignite and turn to ice

I hope my broken silence will suffice.

Journal Entry

haaah one, two three. I heard the door close tssss behind me. After waiting 47 minutes for her to stop me, I was done. I was getting on the train. It didn’t feel like running away, even though that’s what Marg had called it. I wasn’t running away, because nothing and no one was coming after me. And yet, even safe on the train now, as it sat at the station, I wanted every haaah of the opening door to welcome her in so she could pull me back out onto the platform before it closed tssss and the train took off. Any second. I angled my seated body toward the door and stared. Nothing in the station moved. My breath felt chilled. Haaah. I inhaled with the sliding doors. Was she coming after me? Tsss. No. 

Journal Entry

The only thing I can say about the time I threw up over the side of a truck bed and saw my morning mini wheats splatter between the stiff blades of country grass is that my insides knew paradise before I did. It took me months to sink myself that easily into the farm and let it absorb me like it did my upchuck. That was the spring my Gran gave up on me and regifted my orphaned self to her cousin Samuel, and it was the spring I fell in love. Fell in love with solitude, that is. I became happy there, shoveling manure and having one sided conversations with animals and tractors. I don’t regret how long it took me to accept that I was meant for lonely farm life, because I know a part of me knew it was perfect all along. That’s why my gut threw itself at the farm the second the long ride from the city was over. The sick feeling I’d had in my stomach the whole trip wasn’t nausea like I thought. It was anticipation.

Journal Entry

Idioms and Cliches

Every man and his dog knows that the McEwan children think they are the business. Last week when it was raining cats and dogs, the youngest daughter said heads would roll if her new shoes got wet .Every one of the boys has a wallet with more money in it than you can wrap your head around and all the girls have more diamonds than a jewelry store. These kids get sugar blown up their butts and they spend their cash like there's no tomorrow. I'm probably digging my own grave by saying all this and ill be in some serious hot water if word gets out, but YOLO.

Free Assignment

Artist Statement

My board game, Post Secondary Fortunes, is not intended to be exciting to play. I made it because as a grade 12 student dealing with big decisions and university applications and having to weigh my options and decide on my next move and what not, I’ve had hardly anything on my mind over the past few months except for the future. I thought of making this game to represent how at a pivotal time in life, like the transition between secondary and post secondary, a lot is left up to chance whether we like it or not. This is the premise of my game.

It has a simple layout and the actual playing of the game is extremely straightforward but every component has significance. Each segment of the board represents an event in life that people may go through. One, with string and ripped paper all over it represents a time of chaos and disorganization, as there is no order to the items on there. The dark blue segment represents a time of tragedy and sadness, because blue is often associated with sad emotions. The glittery section represents a time of bliss and glowing happiness because it has soft colours that are easy on the eyes but at the same time it stands out and is bright and exciting. The section with money on it represents a time of wealth and prosperity. The red and black section represents a time of rebellion, and it is painted with spray paint, which is often used for illegal street art, which is a form of rebellion. The grey section represents a dull time as grey is a dull colour.

The game pieces are not solid colours, as game pieces generally are, because they are meant to represent people on a journey, and people are never as simple as a solid colour.

The cards have rhyming phrases on them to add a lighter touch and act as a reminder that it is a game played for fun, but also because quite often riddles rhyme and this association adds a bit of mystery. Many of the cards are vague because it leaves room for interpretation of events based on cards a player has previously received. The events of the cards fall under the events represented in the segments of the board. For example, some are tragic, some involve money, and some involve pure happiness.

The “stepping stones” of the game, which are small triangular pieces of felt are all pointing forward, and all follow a specific path. This is to represent that the only way in life is forward, and that we all have our own paths set out before we’re even on them and it’s the decisions we make (in the game, the rolls we make) that determine how fast we move and to where. The result though, is never pre-determined. This is why the cards are shuffled before every game. 

Game Cards:

You’re moving far away to get a degree but in what, we’ll have to wait and see.	There’s been a death in the fam and your whole life is now in a jam.	You’ve never had such good luck. You’ve just won a brand new truck.	It’s not in your nature to let an opportunity pass by, so if you get a chance, you try.	You’ve gone too far and been arrested, even though you strongly protested.	Somehow, you’ve bought a house and settled down, and you have a well paying job downtown.
Your rents have sold the house and simultaneously kicked you out.	You have never been so lazy and bored. All your tasks are being ignored.	You’ve had a huge fight with a friend and the bond between you has come to a sudden end.	You have some time off to rest so you take a vacation and treat yourself to the best.	Nothing has gone wrong in quite a while and you’re floating through every day with a big smile.	You’re on your own and you hate your job and you still haven’t learned to not be a slob.
Your only plan is to keep your job at the same place  you’ve been working at since grade 8.	Rules mean nothing to you. All you do is take risks and try stuff that’s new.	Everything in your life is out of order and you’re developing an anxiety disorder.	You’ve been left by your significant other, but its okay. You’ll find another.	You’ve inherited thousands from a distant relative and you’re going to spend it wisely, on nothing decorative.	You’ve grown up to be just like your folks. You’re too serious to take a joke.
You got $50,000 in scholarship money and your future is looking sunny.	You recently came into a lot of cash, but you were so reckless that it was gone in flash.	Nothing notable has happened for the past year. You’re definitely stuck in second gear.	You’re going through your old things, and noticing some memories really sting.	You’ve broken your leg and cannot walk, so you’ve been sleeping in till 2 o’clock.	You’ve made it and become super rich. There’s nothing in life you’d want to switch.
You’re off to live in LA and where you’ll get famous in a day.	Everyone adores you and you’re a big hit. Fame is so close you can almost taste it.	You’re succeeding in your field and you are proud your potential has been revealed.	You’ve got your last pay check, finding a better job is what is next.	Your car was stolen and you lost your cat. You’re loosing your mind and getting fat.	You did everything you wanted to do, and now you’re lost, you haven’t got a clue.
You don’t need to work or go to school. You’ve got it all already, including a pool.	You’re forever in a relaxed state and you think everything is simply great.	There’s no telling what’s in store for you, but you enjoy not knowing, you really do.	You’ve just been out and met “the one”, and you feel like something magic has begun.	You do the same thing every day, but to you it’s pretty okay.	Life is the way you dreamed it would be. It took a while, but it worked out finally.